Exercise Humor

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound,
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say,'Well, he looks good doesn't he.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,...... I went over the hill.

Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave I look just fine.

Free Grill

As every Southerner knows, come this summer it will be time to get ready for that all-important cooking technique of the south --- outdoor grilling!

I have just found out there are several stores---not just in the South---where you can get a FREE Bar-B-Q grill!

These free grills are available from any of the following stores:

A&P

Albertsons

Costco

Food Lion

Fry's

Home Depot

Big Lots

Brookshire's

Lowes

Publix

Safeway

Sam's Club

Target

Vons

Trader Joe's

Wal-Mart

Winn-Dixie

Kroger

Why Raincoats Are Yellow

Water Or Wine?

Ben Franklin said:
In wine there is wisdom,
In beer there is freedom,
In water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials,
Scientists have demonstratedthat if we drink
1 liter of water each day,
At the end of the year we would have absorbed
More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria  
found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop..

However,
We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine
(or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)
Because alcohol has to go through a purification process
of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
             
Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health.
 
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
Than to drink water and be full of crap.